Sis Jiao, what's the story today?
Why don't I tell you the story of Liu Bang's son Liu Ruyi?
Great.
Liu Ruyi had a stepmother like you. Her name was Queen Lu.
Actually she didn't like Liu Ruyi. She even wanted to kill him.
Luckily Liu Ruyi had a trusted aide.
A trusted aide? What's that?
Someone like me. I'm your trusted aide.
I see.
This trusted aide was very good to Liu Ruyi.
He was always there to protect him.
Unfortunately, one time, this trusted aide went somewhere else.
Queen Lu seized the opportunity and killed Liu Ruyi.
That's so terrible.
Sis Jiao, I won't let you leave me.
Why would I do that?
Why was that Queen Lu so bad?
Because Liu Ruyi wasn't her biological son.
What? She killed him just because he wasn't her own son?
Think about it. Why would a stepmom be nice to someone who's not her biological son?
I'm so scared.
You must remember,
no matter how nice your stepmother is to you
she actually just wants to hurt you.
Honey, why do you look so upset?
I'm not.
I'm wondering what to cook for you and your son tonight
so that you'll enjoy eating.
Really? I thought you were unhappy because Mai refused to call you Mom Runzhi.
Why would I feel that way?
I'm your wife now. My wish has come true.
Why would I be unhappy?
Really? That's great then. We came to the garden for a walk.
We must enjoy it to the fullest. Otherwise it'll defeat the purpose.
Drinking and smiling among flowers makes people happy.
What else would we ask for?
You do know how to enjoy fife.
Let me teach you how to appreciate potted landscape today.
Take this pot of plum blossom for example. Does it look like a gracious woman like you?
It does.
Honey, does this pct of Buddhist pine look like a very strong man?
Absolutely.
Brother Dongpo.
Honey, why don't we go home?
What's wrong? Is it because of Wang Anshi?
His political views are different from yours.
I don't want him to spoil our mood.
Political views have to do with national affairs, not private life.
You don't need to be overly sensitive.
Who wrote that? It's a puzzle.
What should the characters in the middle be?
We're all educated.
Why don't we play a new game today? Let's ask our wives to fill in the words.
I'm not good at poems and verses.
The prime minister is in such a good mood today.
Don't be a killjoy, Mrs. Su.
Right. It's just a game. It's OK. Come on.
Why don't we ask Mrs. Su to go first?
Mrs. Su, you're taking so long to think. You don't know how to fill in the words?
Breeze...
Honey, look there. The falling leaves look like they're dancing.
OK. Breeze jumps on the willows. Pale moon dances with plum blossoms.
Good.
Brother Dongpo, you looked so excited just now.
What do you think of your wife's couplet?
Of course it's good.
If I say otherwise, she will punish me when were home
What words would you have used in the couplet?
Brother Dongpo is so clever. How would that pose any difficulty to him?
Right. Tell us the words that you'd use.
Honey, please give me your hand. Look at me. Give me a big smile.
Breeze blows softly over the willows. The pale moon caresses the plum blossoms.
Wonderful.
Excellent.
Brother Dongpo, you and your wife are so sweet. I'm jealous. Come on. Cheers.
Wait a second. My wife and I have passed. Whose turn is it?
Officer Su, you and your wife are so amazing.
We don't want to show our incompetence.
Right.
We don't want to may the game.
Good. That's exactly what I want to hear. Let's have some tea then.
Tonight I want to teach you how to compose couplets.
What's the most important thing in composing couplets? It's the meter.
The first line is AABBA. The second line is BBBAA.
AABBA, BBBAA.
What is it, honey? You startled me.
Wang Runzhi, we're having a lesson right now.
You're daydreaming?
I'm not.
You're still denying that? OK. Let me test you. Tell me about meters.
Listen carefully.
After the walk in the garden today,
Wang Anshi said there should be a gathering every month.
All the couples have to compose poems.
If I don't teach you now, how can I go with you?
I won't go then.
It's no big deal if you don't go.
But do you know your status now? You're my wife.
You'll be a disgrace if you can't compose poems and couplets.
Your cousin was different. She was very enterprising and helpful.
She often criticized my poems and verses. She was really enterprising.
That's different.
When she married you, Yue'e and I were still working as maids.
I'm already amazing for being able to read.
No wonder you didn't come to our wedding banquet back then.
I was always being abused by my master then.
Luckily Yue'e's cousin became the princess' husband.
Then the princess paid to redeem us.
She also gave us some money
so we could come to the capital and look for our relatives.
Then I married you.
No wonder you and Liu Yue'e are good friends.
That's why Yue'e and the princess are my benefactors.
You're always reminiscing about the past. You must be punished for that.
Come over and kiss me on the cheek. That's your punishment. Come on.
I won't kiss you.
You won't? You think you call the shots here.
I'm the teacher now. I want to punish you. If you don't kiss me, then I’ll kiss you.
I won't let you kiss me.
I'll come and kiss you.
I won't let you.
I won't kiss your cheek. I'll kiss your lips.
Dad, what's going on?
Master Mai.
Why didn't you knock before coming in?
Sorry, sir. I told him to. But he didn't listen to me.
You're so haughty. I'll call you Naughty Su then.
You told me to come in.
I may have told you to come in, but I didn't tell you to come in without knocking.
Come on. Let's get down to business. I'm assigning a very important task to you.
From tomorrow on, you must teach Mom Runzhi to read.
If you do a good job, you will be handsomely rewarded.
I won't do that.
How about this?
If you agree to teach me, I'll cook what you like to eat every clay.
You're trying to please me out of the blue. You must have a hidden agenda.
Why are you so rude? I'll smack you.
How about this, Mai?
If I don't do well, I'll let you hit my palm.
With a cane?
Fine.
Good. It should be reciprocal then.
If you don't teach her well, I will hit your palm too.
Do you have dare accept this challenge of teaching Mom Runzhi?
Master Mai, this is to your disadvantage. Don't do it.
Sis Jiao, I know what to do.
You're on. I'll be able to teach Mom Runzhi unless she's a pig.
Mai, you called me Mom Runzhi?
It was just a slip of the tongue. You look so happy.
Master Mai.
Forget it. He called you Mom Runzhi after all.
Mai, there's a couplet in Odes of Puppet Shows. I don't get it.
Read it out loud.
The first line is: mouth or no mouth mouth for mouth.
The first character is A. The rest of are B. How come?
What's the second line?
Man or no man man drags man.
Why are you so stupid?
Mai, why don't you teach her first? Go.
Reverse the meters of the two lines and they're fine then.
Don't tell me you don't know that.
But I still don't get it.
You really don't? Sis Jiao, get me a cane.
Are you serious?
Of course. I'm your teacher.
You said I could hit you if you don't get it.
You don't get it now. Shouldn't I hit you?
Yes.
Tell him you'll take him out to play.
Then he'll forget everything. And he won't punish you.
Mai, why don't we take a break?
Let's go to the market. We can go play and eat, OK?
Great. I want to eat sugar-coated candies.
OK. I'll get my purse.
Mai, all stepmom try to be nice to their stepsons in the beginning.
But she'll play wicked tricks when you're not paying attention.
Don't let her fool you, OK?
I want sugar-coated candies“.
OK.
Master Po doesn't let him eat that.
Mai, you can't eat that.
You said I could eat anything I wanted. You're not keeping your promise.
Master Mai, why don't I go there with you to buy other things?
OK.
It's so cute.
Sis Jiao, you said Master Po doesn't let him to eat this.
I wasn't finished yet.
He said if Mai's a good boy, he can be given a special allowance.
Sis Jiao, why don't we go there and take a look?
Mai, what are you doing? Sis Jiao, why didn't you stop him?
I did.
But he insisted on throwing the stones. There was nothing I could do.
Why were you throwing stones at him?
That guy from Liao said
I could buy five pieces of stone with one copper coin.
If I hit him with the stones, he's be given steamed buns to eat.
Stop throwing stones at him. Let's go. Let's play over there.
I don't have enough money to redeem you.
But I paid your master a silver coin
and asked him not to let people throw stones at you anymore.
I hope you'll get a nice master later... I must tell honey about this.
Your Majesty, lots of people have come to the capital from Liao Kingdom lately.
They sell slaves here. There are many torture cases every day.
This is unacceptable.
I urge Your Majesty to order a ban on the slave trade.
OK.
Your Majesty, all those involved in the stave trade are Liao merchants.
Song and Liao have already come into conflict
over the price of mutton.
I don't think we should test the tolerance of Liao again
in case more conﬂicts are stirred.
We must withhold action.
That makes sense.
Your Majesty, the chaos caused by slave trade
is getting more serious day by day.
Prime Minister Wang, are you willing to be held liable for the chaos?
That's true.
Your Majesty, will Su be held liable if Liao comes to make trouble?
Stop...That's not wrestling. You're not fighting hard enough.
Come on. The winner will get 10,000 copper coins.
Your Majesty, just now we were talking about...
OK. I heard you.
Hey, why don't you two have a wrestling match too?
The winner gets to call the shot.
Me and him?
Yes...
Just kidding.
I know you're both making your recommendations
for the nation and the people.
But sometimes you don't need to be so serious. Don't quarrel.
I think Prime Minister Wang is right.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
Officer Su, let it go...
So do you want to resolve this by wrestling?
That won't be necessary.
Anyway harmony between Song and Liao is the most important.
It's decided. You're excused.
Goodbye, Your Majesty.
Sesame balls...Let's eat...
We're from Hangzhou. We need accommodation.
OK. The line's over there.
Hey, you're treating us like beggars?
My friend is here to sit for the civil service exam.
We've spent all our money.
That's why we want to stay here for a short period. Do you understand?
Sir, everyone in the monastery is equal. So you must both line up.
Hey...
Form is void and vice versa.
Everyone in the monastery needs to eat. Everyone needs a shelter.
Is there a difference in treatment for a monk and a so-called secular student?
When a travelling monk comes here, of course we'll accommodate him.
But if you're a lay devotee or a secular student,
there are no rooms available.
A monastery is a place for truth. Is form really that important?
Sir, please come in.
Please.
I really want to take a bite as your head looks like a sesame ball.
You're still eating that?
What are you doing?
There's food later.
Do you need to fight with the dead“. I mean the senior people?
Hey, he's dead. He won't eat this. But I'm alive. I need to eat...
Hey, Shaoyou, when did you die?
Touch wood. I'm far from dead.
Come take a look. Your name's here.
My name? Maybe he has the same name.
Could there be such a coincidence?
What are you two doing here?
Who put the spiritual tablet here?
Su Dongpo did.
See?
He must have thought I was killed in Gu Zhuang, so he put that here.
Fine. I won't argue with you.
But he's a powerful guy. He should get you a place on the upper rows.
Why put you on a lower row? What does he take you for?
Excuse me. Does he come often to pay respects?
I don't think he's ever come to do that.
You hear that? He's just did it for tame and his reputation.
I don't care if he's a nice guy. We're in the capital now.
We need his support
so that I'll stand a chance of passing the civil service exam.
We can't really count on him. We need to rely on ourselves.
Han in Jiangnan went mad when her son was about to get married.
She argued with Su Dongpo. What happened as a result?
Let's take a break. Don't go away.
I can't believe your heroic act is already known in the capital.
Let's go inside and listen to the story.
Storytellers often exaggerate. Let's see if he does.
Back from the break. Let's carry on. This is really spectacular.
Back then Su Dongpo had to protect seven people
including old people, women, and kids.
At first he wanted to let it go. But then Han kept pushing forward.
The bodyguards were getting closer and closer. It was critical.
So Su Dongpo swept with his feet. Those big guys fell to the ground.
Finally, Su Dongpo rescued all his family members and came to the cliff
He's really exaggerating.
Hey, it's different from what you told me. Did you exaggerate?
Maybe he'll talk about me later.
Han was giving chase. Everyone was crying. Then Su Dongpo let out a loud howl.
A rock fell off the cliff as a result and blocked Han and the lackeys.
The eight of them managed to escape.
And they returned to the capital.
Miss Wang was so grateful that she even married Su Dongpo.
Good...
That's it?
This storyteller is making it up...
Hey, storyteller, you described Su Dongpo as a hero.
Do you know him at all? He's not a hero. He's a coward. No, he's a pig.
Never mind.
It's OK. Let me tell the truth.
Back then a brilliant kung fu expert Qin Shaoyou happened to be there.
Otherwise Su Dongpo and his family
would have been killed already.
Were you there at the time? How much do you know?
I know everything, especially the part at the cliff.
Back then Su Dongpo was so desperate that he was begging for his life on his knees.
Then Qin Shaoyou happened to pass by. He lent him a helping hand.
He kicked and swept the bodyguards to the ground.
Han saw that and ﬂed. Qin Shaoyou chased away all the bad guys.
Then he turned around and saw Su Dongpo at the edge of the cliff.
He was so scared he had even wet his pants.
That's nonsense.
What's nonsense? Su Dongpo is just a coward.
He made up the story to make everyone think he's a hero.
What about the real hero then? He thinks he's dead.
You sleaze bag. How dare you insult a government official?
Who's sleazy?
You.
He's right. Back then I, Qin Shaoyou, saved Su Dongpo and his family.
This pretty but not so intelligent girl was there back then. She can confirm it
Who are you to Su Dongpo, miss?
She's his younger sister, Su Xiaomei.
I see...
She lured me to Gu Zhuang. I nearly got killed in their place.
Oh...
Enough. It was just a misunderstanding.
This guy keeps boasting about himself like he's your savior.
But he just wants to take advantage of this.
You know my older brother is the famous Su Dongpo.
That's why you want to befriends with him.
Do I need to do that?
Even if he begs on his knees to see me, I'd still have to think about it.
My older brother would go see you?
If he takes the initiative to see you, I'll lick the sole of your shoe.
You better tell your brother not to run into me then.
Otherwise I'll step in muck before you lick the sole of my shoe.
Si, let's go.
Let's go.
Rascals.
You really won't go see Su Dongpo?
That's what I said. I can't eat my words.
A great man is flexible.
There are things a great man won't do.
You've changed. You're usually a gentleman.
But after you quarreled with Su Xiaomei, you're so angry now. Somethings wrong.
I can't help it. I have to do this. This is a dramatic strategy.
What do you mean?
Su Xiaomei is naive and stupid.
She'll badmouth me in front of Su Dongpo.
If I go see Su Dongpo, he may not do me a favor.
I don't want to be humiliated.
So I'm trying to figure out a way to make Su Dongpo come see me.
You better work on that fast.
Otherwise we'll be stone broke when he comes to see us.
We won't even be able to afford shoes.
How will you find a shoe for Su Xiaomei to lick then?
Don't worry. There's always a way out.
Find the way then.
Hey, come on. Maybe they're handing out rice.
Wrestlers needed. No experience required. Men and women welcome.
High pay with commission. Apply inside.
Good. Iron Face has won.
We agreed that you'd let him hit you several times and then you'd fake defeat.
Then we could take the money and go. Why did you keep fighting?
At first I wanted to leave. But he wouldn't let me.
Any challengers? Any?
Are you crazy? Don't go. The money is enough for dinner tonight.
What about tomorrow?
Tomorrow?
I'm confident I can take revenge for you and get the cash reward as well.
Be careful then.
Great. The next victim... No, the next challenger is called...
Qin Shaoyou.
He's so good-looking.
Handsome Lad. Let the fight begin.
Very good.
Great...
Handsome Lad has won.
You've won.
Great...Come over here...
Hello...
He's so handsome...
You can fight so well.
You fought so well.
So charming.
Is this be a bad idea? Well...
Why? He's so handsome...
Hua De Restaurant.
Let's listen to today's story.
Miss Xiaomei, are you addicted to it?
Don't be nosy.
Waiter, we want to order please
He's just ignoring us?
Sir, you're here so early? What would you like to order?
That's it. Thank you.
Two rascals.
Sleazy girl.
OK.
Breaks over. Let's carry on. Handsome Lad fought 20 guys.
They were lying on top of him. I thought he would be defeated.
But suddenly they all flew into the air. How?
Actually they had been thrown off by Handsome Lad's heroic spirit.
Handsome Lad won again in a ﬂash.
Apart from getting the cash reward,
he also got the lipstick of the female spectators on his cheeks.
He's so amazing. Who's this Handsome Lad?
Handsome Lad has a name. He saved Su Shi. His name is Qin Shaoyou.
Thank you...
Crap.
Crap? You tell the story then. I'm all ears.
Don't think you can bully me.
By the way, your old hairstyle was fine. Why did you change it?
The fans like it. I have to entertain them.
But you don't fight so well anymore.
If you win again, you'll have won nine times in a row.
I can't believe there are so few expert fighters in the capital.
You're finally here?
Yes.
You're next. Get ready.
OK.
OK. Hey, win nine times in a row.
Win nine times in a row.
Expert wrestler? You'll find out very soon who's an expert.
This time we have Handsome Lad fighting Golden Face Buddha.
Great...
Handsome Lad...
Miss Xiaomei, will the weakening powder really work?
Of course it will. Watch.
First his arms will get weak.
Then his legs will lose all strength.
Finally his entire body will be as weak as a dead fish.
Stop...We surrender.
Golden Face Buddha has won.
What happened? Why did you lose all your strength?
It must be her.
The shows over. Let's go.
Sleazy girl.
How are you? Are you better?
I feel better now. Thank you.
I can't believe that sleazy girl doped my tea.
Now that I've lost, people won't have any sympathy for me.
We won't be able to make money anymore
Anyway don't mess with that woman again.
I can't believe she's so sly and wicked.
Handsome Lad“.
Try this medicated cream.
No, try my medicinal liquor.
Let me help you.
I want to help you too.
I applied some medicine just now.
Their medicine is not effective enough. Take this money. Go see a doctor.
I can't take the money.
Come on. Take it.
You girls are too kind.
Take it.
Right. Listen to them and take it. Thank each and every one of them.
OK. Thank you all. You're really so kind.
Handsome Lad, it's more spectacular to see you get beaten up.
But we feel so sorry watching that.
So sorry and hurt...
Back then Golden Face Buddha hit Handsome Lad in his face.
What happened to Handsome Lad in the end?
Of course he fell to the ground. His face was a mess. But he survived.
How are his injuring? Can he fight again?
I really have no idea about his injuries.
But I know he will appear in a wrestling match this afternoon.
As for his physical state, I really don't have a clue.
Officer Su, why aren't you sure of anything?
Right. It was so exciting.
I'm going to watch the match today.
I will then report to Your Majesty and Your Highnesses afterwards.
You guys can go.
I need to discuss some important national affairs with Officer Su.
Yes, Your Majesty.
I want to watch the match.
No way. There are all kinds of people there. It's really dangerous.
You don't need to worry.
I'll go with my guards. You don't need to protect me.
But...
Even if something goes wrong, I still won't hold you liable, OK?
Yes, Your Majesty.
Wow, there really are lots of people.
I've got connections. That's how I could get two tickets.
The princess wanted to come too. I told her I couldn't help her.
I saved the ticket for you since you're my good friend.
You're the nicest to me.
But you must promise me something.
What?
Don't mention Su Mai or Su Dongpo today.
Don't talk about anything related to the Dongpo family.
Why?
Ever since you married him,
you just talk about him every time I see you.
I've had enough. We'll only talk about Handsome Lad today.
You're right. Enjoy everything to the fullest.
That's what honey tells me.
Have a seat.
Thank you, Your Majesty.
I want a ﬂower.
Why did you buy a ﬂower?
Later, when Handsome Lad appears, everyone will throw ﬂowers at him.
Really? I want two then.
Why two?
Handsome Lad has an adversary. One for him and one for Dark Face.
So Handsome Lad is a woman?
You're so out of it.
Before Handsome Lad fights,
there's some women's wrestling to get things going.
Interesting.
When we go back, let's ask all the women to learn wrestling.
Yes.
Hold your breath.
Handsome Lad and Dark Face will fight very soon.
After the match, please don't leave.
There will be a melee among the slaves from Liao.
What's the fun watching of slaves from Liao wrestle?
It's spectacular because it's cruel and bloody.
The only rule is to fight till nobody else is moving.
The winner gets his freedom back.
So they fight to the death?
Yes. That's why those slaves from Liao are doomed no matter what.
The winner will be seriously injured.
Even though he gets his freedom back, he may not make it home. It's really sad.
I see. This is a setup. You want me to abolish slavery, right?
Let me think about it.
We have Handsome Lad now...
Handsome Lad...
He's Handsome Lad?
That's Qin Shaoyou.
Qin Shaoyou? You're right. Isn't he dead?
That's what I thought.
Dark Face against Handsome Lad. Let the fight begin.
I'm sure Handsome Lad will win.
If you want your freedom, fight harder. The one who lives will get his freedom.
You spit on me? I dare you to spit on me...
Your Majesty, be careful.
OK.
Ouch.
Pull his hair...Bite his ears...
Your Majesty!
That's my husband. I have to leave.
Where are you going?
If honey finds out that I'm not focused on studying,
he'll be upset.
He may not see you. Cover your face with the ﬂowers.
Let's finish watching this match first. Once its over, we'll leave.
Will this work?
Sure. Come on. Cover your face.
Hey, stop it.
Run...
This is the melee of slaves from Liao?
Actually, it's my first time watching this
What?
Your Majesty, somethings wrong. Let's get out of here. Protect His Majesty.
Over here. Hurry.
No, I must find my husband. You go first.
It's so chaotic. How can we get out of here?
Xiaomei? Protect His Majesty.
Xiaomei, what are you doing here?
Officer Su.
Qin Shaoyou?
Honey.
Help my younger sister get out of here.
OK. Let's go.
I don't need your help.
Let's go.
Stop fighting...
Don't hurt him. He's my husband.
Honey.
I know you're pitiful. But a lot of people here are innocent.
Why do you want to hurt them?
I'm innocent too...Look out!
Honey...
Don't!
Honey...
Honey, are you OK?
I'm fine.
Good.
You must be tired. Sleep in.
I had a nightmare just now.
I saw the beam fall on you and the strong slave.
As you said, it was just a dream. I'm alive and well. Feel my chin. See?
What about the strong slave? How is he?
The slave?
Don't kill him.
Wait.
Officer Su.
I was so scared. Don't worry, honey. He just cut the chain.
Thank you for saving me and my husband. This is for you.
It's a long journey. You can use this. Be careful from now on.
Don't let anyone catch you and make you a slave again.
Thank you.
Don't worry, honey.
His Majesty has already ordered that from today on,
the slavery system is abolished.
There will no longer be slaves.
Really?
Yes. You guys are free.
Great...
What an unexpected calamity! That bad guy ran into me.
Now I feel I'm surrounded by bad luck.
You better get me some pomelo leaves for me to bathe with.
OK.
Come watch the match when you're free.
Blind man.
Freak with uniform bangs.
Plague. Get out of my way.
It's good that you're limping.
You won't come out so often and hurt people.
I'm limping because of what you did. You landed on me when you fell.
You would have lost all your teeth if not for me.
Actually you should call me your benefactor.
I saved your whole family. You should call me your savior.
You want me to call you my savior? Dream on.
We're a wealthy family.
Lots of shameless people like you come to ask for favors.
You need to stand in the line.
Do I need to do that?
Su Dongpo went to the plaza to see me a couple of days ago.
He even called me by my name loudly when he saw me. That's right.
Someone said if Su Dongpo took the initiative to go see me,
she would lick the sole of my shoe.
Let me see if there's turd around. Hey, there really is turd over there.
I'm not here to ask for favors.
I'm here to give you a chance to honor your promise.
So you want to break your promise?
Are you going to lick it? If not, I'll tell everyone you don't keep your word.
Who said I won't keep my promise?
Lick it then. Go ahead.
You won't keep your promise?
What do you mean?
You asked me to trample on your sole. I'm doing it now.
Miss Xiaomei, that's not the sole. You should step on the sole.
Right. Sorry. My mistake. I'll do it again.
Let me help you to trample on that guy Qin Shaoyou.
I wish you injure your arms wrestling...
Good job.
You're both imbeciles. You're even cursing me? You're so sleazy.
You're sleazy. You bully women on the street.
He's bullying me...
Fine. I'll go see your older brother in a couple of days and talk to him.
Let him be the judge. See who's wrong.
I'm sure he won't see you.
He's invited me to his home. I'm his VIP.
Miss Xiaomei.
Every time I see you,
you're either lying on top of other people or on the bottom. I'm bored. See you.
So shameless.